Lindsay Lohan, who recently broke up with Sam Ronson, is this week’s HOT. I’m sure their on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again, on-again, off-again saga isn’t over, but I’ve liked Lindsay since the days of The Parent Trap and I’m going to take her side on this one. Love me some SamRo, but I love how honest L.Lo is about being so crazy (have you seen that hilarious Funny or Die video she made? Watch it here). Lindsay, you may be insane, but you’re also HOT!

NOT!

Kate Gosselin, who was recently exposed for denying a healthy drink of water to one of her 8 kids, is this weeks NOT. She’s obvies let all of her fake fame go to her head and is now a total diva, which would be fine if she didn’t have 8 kids to take care of. 8 kids that coincidentally are the only reason she’s famous. Yes, Kate, we’re proud of you for having all those kids and getting all that death-defying plastic surgery, but do you really need to be so obnoxious and abusive to your kids. I mean, really. NOT hot.

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HOT!

This week’s HOT is Kathy Griffin. Her show My Life on the D-List had its season premier Monday night. I’m not sure what appeals to me about this woman. Perhaps it is her hair. I find myself staring at it, wondering where the actual human hair ends and the hair extensions begin (has anyone else noticed her hair is like 4 feet long?). Also, I have met the woman in real life and I can tell you she’s just as funny in person (and by “met” I mean one time I was sitting by a pool and she walked by with Paris Hilton). Quick witted, that one. If anyone deserves her own reality show, it’s Kathy Griffin. HOT!

LUKEWARM!

You know who doesn’t deserve her own reality show? Kendra Wilkinson! You remember her from The Girls Next Door? I must say that show was a guilty pleasure of mine. Now even though Kendra has absolutely nothing to bring to the table in terms of personality or wit, I must admit that it’s sort of impressive that she is genetically a human being but looks like a life-size Barbie made of plastic, gleaming white hair, and teeth made of Chicklets. Even if her laugh is irritating, just watching her bounce around the television screen is entertainment enough for me. No brain, but a great body… LUKEWARM!

NOT!

Hey, Denise Richards, guess what? It’s NOT complicated, you’re just lame. I watched you on Sunday, the season premier of Denise Richards: It’s Complicated and was totally grossed out. Now, I’ve watched seasons before and I have always been sort of confused about you. Part of me feels for you because of all you’ve gone through divorcing Charlie Sheen and losing your mom. But your personality is just kind of gross and stuck up. You’re totally full of yourself and also just not very friendly. Unlike Kendra, you live under the pretense that you offer something more than a pretty face to your audience, which is totally false. Being condescending and pompous is NOT hot!

This week’s HOT is Vanessa Hudgens. Her reaction to the whole Bruno v. Eminem scandal on MTV was sort of priceless and adorable. She just sat there next to Zac Efron and was super excited and cute when he won, even though the man announcing that he’d won was suspended from the ceiling with no pants on.  She was definitely one of the best dressed at the MTV Movie Awards. I usually don’t go for such squeaky clean, All-American girls, but there’s a special place in my heart for Vanessa because she seems so genuinely friendly. HOT!

NOT!

Amy Winehouse is such an easy target, but I poke fun at her out of love. Firstly, she’s so talented that it angers me to see her abusing her body the way she does, reportedly drinking all day. She’s been given a tremendous gift, an amazing talent, and it bothers me to see her take it for granted. All you need to do is look at her to see she’s not at all healthy. What I find the most off-putting about her is her total lack of appreciation for all that she has and is. The only reason she’s NOT hot is that she’s NOT trying. Pull it together, girl!

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Winona Ryder seems to have stayed the same age since I was little. One of my favorite movies as a kid was ‘Beetlejuice’ and I remember thinking her character was so cool, all aloof and glamorous, living in Upstate New York but dressing like someone living in Manhattan (wearing all black). She was recently featured on the cover of Elle UK. Despite her shoplifting escapades, I still think she’s cool. I don’t know exactly what it is about her that I find so appealing. It’s not like she’s a genius actress. In fact, she always plays the same character: herself. Maybe this is why we feel like we know her and why I think she’s so HOT.

NOT!

Renee Zellweger has always irritated me. I think it’s because instead of smiling she squints her eyes as tightly as possible and purses her lips. She also tends to be in whacky romance movies that bore me to tears. To add insult to injury, she recently posed for the cover of dumb magazine ‘Glamour.’ She is so NOT.

Gwyneth Paltrow is HOT this week. Recently, she’s been in the news for allegedly hating Scarlett Johansson, her co-star in Iron Man 2. I’ve always liked Gwyneth because she’s so graceful and somehow is never caught by the paparazzi doing tacky things. I also like that she married Chris Martin from Coldplay and that she gave her children crazy azz names (Apple and Moses!). Gwyneth exemplifies sunny California fun while managing not to take it over the top like so many Cali girls (the entire cast of The Hills, for example). Cool husband, crazyname kids, and real elegance make Ms. Paltrow totally HOT.

NOT!

This week’s NOT is Anna Wintour, American Vogue’s Editor-in-Chief. She was profiled on 60 Minutes last week and made all sorts of annoying statements. She admitted to making Oprah go on a stringent diet for a cover shoot and called the population of the midwest as fat as “small houses.” While part of me thinks she’s funny and I respect how truthful she is, as a FFK (Former Fat Kid), I must object to her lack of understanding for fat people. And who does she think she is telling Oprah to lose weight? I mean, IT’S OPRAH! No one tells her what to do. Anyway, I’m grossed out by her lack of compassion and out of control ego. NOT hot!

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This week’s HOT is Lady GaGa. I know what you’re thinking: “Jeez! I’m sooooo tired of her because she’s been EVERYWHERE for the past 6 months!” As an early GaGa adopter, I feel the same way. But seeing her performance on Ellen totally changed my mind. Not only can she play the piano while standing on a chair, she can also hold a conversion with Ellen Degeneres while she wears a sculpture on her head. Who knew she was so articulate and funny? And her speaking voice is totally cute. Anyway, I like that she can actually perform and that she’s got crazy style. HOT!

NOT!

This week’s NOT is Katie Price. Firstly, because I have no idea who she is (the Paris Hilton of the UK? British reality TV star?). All I know is that I find her terrifying. She’s only in her 30s and she looks like she’s 60. Too many lip injections and implants everywhere. NOT HOT!

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This week’s hot is Kirstie Alley. She’s hot because she was totally honest about gaining weight. She went on Oprah to talk about being fat and then did an interview with People Magazine. Instead of pretending nothing happened, she basically said “Hey, I gained 83 pounds because I ate lots of fat and junk food!” Like Kirstie, I tend to get skinny then get fat then get skinny then get fat. But usually when I get fat I’m like “Oh, there must be something wrong with these TINY pants” or “it’s just water weight from all the water I’ve been drinking!” I like that Kirstie just admitted that she got fat from being totally lazy. HOT!

NOT!

This week’s NOT is Miss California because she wasn’t honest about her belief system when she spoke out against gay marriage. Personally, I thought the gay marriage question was a weird thing to ask a Miss America contestant, but I feel like Miss California did a particularly bad job of answering. She’s defended her anti-gay marriage stance by citing the bible, but now topless photos of her have emerged online. If the bible outlaws hot dudes marrying hot dudes, I’m pretty sure it also outlaws hot semi-naked pictures or gorgeous blonde chicks. Whatevs, Miss California, you might be pretty on the outside but that’s about it. NOT HOT!

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This week’s HOT is Rihanna, because she is perfect and always looks good. I am on a Hawaiian vacation right now with two of my college chums and an old Rihanna song came on the rental car radio yesterday while we were driving around the beaches of Oahu’s North Shore. My friend was like “she doesn’t even have a good voice!” and then I screamed at him about how she’s perfect and a good dancer. I don’t know what’s going on with her and her boyfriend Mr. Brown, but something tells me she knows what she’s doing - maybe we should just support her totally weird decision to stay with him. She’s talented, smart, and has a truly unique style that’s all her own. HOT! (The Superficial)

Heidi Montag is NOT hot. Mainly because she married Spencer Whatshisface. Twice. And both weddings were completely fake and obnoxious. Kind of like her face. I find her totally generic and boring. And it seems like she’ll do anything for attention. She is a blonde sandwich of blah. NOT hot. Though I must admit that this picture of her is sort of sexy, in a guilty pleasure sorta way…(Perez Hilton)

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This week’s HOT is Mandy Moore. I thought she was brilliant in ‘Saved’ and she just came out with a song that’s (GASP!) kinda good [click here to check it out]. I like that Mandy Moore started out all fun and teeny-bopper-ish and then started doing indie movies and got married to grungy Ryan Adams. She seems to have a sense of humor about her squeaky-clean reputation, which I think is totally HOT!

NOT!

This week’s NOT! is Tara Reid, who showed up to Coachella looking like a tacky Long Island mom. I’ve never been a huge fan of hers, mainly because she doesn’t seem to have any talent and has meddled a bit too much with her boobs and turned them into a weird, failed science project. NOT hot!

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This weeks HOT is Drew Barrymore. She was on Regis and Kelly recently promoting her new HBO film ‘Grey Gardens’ and she looked great. There’s something appealing about her because she was a drug addict when she was 9 years old and now she’s a successful producer and actress. Way to bounce back!  She also seems seems super nice, like she could be your best friend. And being genuinely nice, in my opinion, is totally HOT. I imagine meeting her and her being like “Oh my god you’re SO funny! Let’s be besties!” Probably in real life she would be like “Please stop following me and asking me where I bought my fannypack.” Oh well. Still HOT.

NOT!

Anyone remember Kenley from ‘Project Runway’? I didn’t think so. Anyway, she’s this week’s NOT because she lost a court case in New York involving some sort of “Cat Incident.” She was so horrible, obnoxious, and selfish on that show that I don’t feel bad that her ex-boyfriend hates her. Moral of the story: being selfish and annoying is NOT HOT..

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