By Hayden Wright
Kesha’s journey to release Rainbow in 2017 was dominated by headlines about her legal battle with producer Dr. Luke, whom she accused of assault and abuse. When the album debuted this summer, the singer’s new sound was empowered and more authentic than ever. This month, Kesha covers Rolling Stone and gave a revealing interview about the struggles she’s overcome to reach a healthy place.
“I have nothing to hide,” she said. “The beautiful, the good, the bad, the ugly, all of it.” Specifically, Kesha delved into the faulty thinking around her eating disorder.
“I really just thought I wasn’t supposed to eat food,” she said. “And then if I ever did, I felt very ashamed, and I would make myself throw up because I’d think, ‘Oh, my God, I can’t believe I actually did that horrible thing. I’m so ashamed of myself because I don’t deserve to eat food.”
As Kesha lost weight, she earned positive feedback from people in the industry who expected her to be a certain size.
“I was slowly, slowly starving myself,” she said. “And the worse I got and the sicker I got, the better a lot of people around me were saying that I looked. They would just be like, ‘Oh, my gosh, keep doing whatever you’re doing! You look so beautiful, so stunning.'”
Following treatment, Kesha says she changed her perspective on her quest for physical perfection.
“Oh, wait. I did just take my life into my own hands and choose life over a slow, painful, shameful self-imposed death. And I need to stop just being so f—ing mean to myself.”