Fights! Fish! Fetch! The Amazing Race Recap
Ande

By: Ande Dagan

On last night’s episode, our beloved Racers left Bangkok and flew to Guilin, China. Per their usual routine, the redheads immediately got to bitching at their non-English speaking taxi drivers and quietly thought to themselves how much better this world would be if everyone spoke American and twirled in front of a football field for a living.

Trouble began right at the first clue box where Sinister Deaf Kid and Jen went head to head like two brats reaching for the last piece of birthday cake with a frosting flower on it. Their fighting continued on through the remainder of the episode in an epic ‘he signed she said’ battle royale.

On to the first challenge where teams had to play fetch with some rabid Chinese water birds. Luckily Victor and Tammy spoke fluent Chinese and could communicate more easily with their bird. Unfortunately, their bird did not speak the same dialect and completely ignored their commands. Meanwhile Crackle and Pop took on their Speed Bump challenge and had to wash and style the hair of two old ladies in the middle of a busy sidewalk. I mean, what? By the time these two made it to the bird challenge, Crackle was exhausted and cuddled up in a Snuggie while Pop cheerfully confused fish with fowl.

At the Detour, teams were given the choice of calligraphy or choreography. Because the redheads were former cheerleaders, they took on the dancing challenge which took them nothing short of three full days to complete. Again, they got mad that nobody spoke English and did not seem interested in communicating instead in the international language of dips and two-steps and electric slides.

More drama at the finish line where the first three teams arrived within seconds of each other. Sinister Deaf Kid and Bionic Mom called out Kisha and Jen which led to an uncomfortable war of words being exchanged. Tammy and Victor, caught in the middle, looked like they wanted to die. Tension eased when the redheads arrived leaving Crackle and Pop to finish up last. They were eliminated and sent back home to Candyland. Poor some out (of your juicebox) for those two.