Dear Orlando: I Really Can't Tell, Does He Want Me?
Orlando

Dear Orlando,

I have been hanging out with this guy and I really like him. He’s in a drummer in a band and he’s really cute. We’ve been hanging out a lot and I think he likes me but I’m not sure. We met through friends and we have hung out alone a few times but nothing exciting has ever happened. Actually, the first time we hung out we went to Target to look for a shower curtain for his new apartment. Blah. Very domestic indeed. We haven’t even kissed and we’ve been hanging out for a few months! Anyway, I can’t tell if he’s into me or not because he’s kinda shy. How do I tell if he wants me or not?

Love,
Dozhe Lovme

Dear Dozhe,
I have terrible news for you… He’s gay. Just kidding! What really going on is that he’s probably not sure you’re into him so he doesn’t want to put himself out there.  You need to drop him some subtle hints by saying things like “Hey, I’m obsessed with you” or “Would you like to make out after we go to Ikea tomorrow?” Maybe this will finally convince him that you love him and want to have, like, 500 of his babies. I must say that you’re working at a disadvantage now that your relationship has gone on as a friendship for so long. While many people think the best relationships start off as friendships, I believe the opposite. Usually if people are friends they think “Ew, I can’t hook up with her, we’re friends!” So now your job is to convince your drumming hottie that you’re not a friend, you’re a FOX. Because he’s probably one of those gorgeous-silent-shy types, you have to be the aggressor. I know most girls don’t like to hear that, but if you’re into indie boys, you better get used to being the aggressive one in the relationship. GO GET HIM and tell him I sent you!

This weeks mantra: If you like him, tell him you like him. Duh.

Love,
Orlando